Friday, November 24

Updates.

Life has been hectic over the past few months ... with exams and the semester ending and what not; ence the lack of updates. GOD has been truly good to me in the last 6 months . We finally got our keys to the apartment about 2 weeks back, and right now we're in the midst of getting in done up here and there. On relationship issues, with the grace of GOD its been the best 5 months of my life , everyday unfolds a new chapter ; allowing the both of us to understand each other ...

Monday, September 25

3 months on...

and life has never been better. Uni, although hectic; is progressing in the right direction. At least I hope so.
Everything in my life seems to be turning out perfectly for a change. Met someone; who seems interested in me, and its been 3 excllent months; thou he's in Bangladesh now for a project. He'll be back soon :D , mom is okie with the idea of him being in my life, Reena is skeptical but I know she only wants the best for me.
My home is just about complete, should be getting the keys within a couple of days, took the liberty to take some photographs yesterday when we went to view our apartment. Will include the pics here.
I'm not complaining anymore, maybe because I am finally happy with alot of things; and I pray it never ends.


Photographs of my HOME :D

Sunday, July 30

Long Route


When I look back, it seems like an eternity... I have had to endure many obstacles in life to get where I am today, I have failed many-a-times, disappointed my parents far too often during this period of time, yet today when I look at it from a distance I realize that I have grown in many ways.
For me , getting a scholarship from Limkokwing University of Creative Technology was possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me, I once remembered mom telling me "look at ****** she got a scholarship, look at ***** she's so perfect , don't know when I'll be able to be proud of you" and all of this would make me wonder if its true, that I'd never make her proud.. Today I can safely say in many ways I have.. I now live independent alone in Cyberjaya, something that I had never expected myself to do. I secured myself a scholarship, and above and beyond all I have 9 months (6 months + 3 months internship) before I graduate with my Bachelors in Communications majoring in Journalism and Public Relations from Curtin University of Technology.





Sunday, July 23

A new life ...

Applogies up front for not having blogged over a period of time here, to friends who dilligently continued to view this blog and ask me on updates, i applogise for not having done so.
Today I begin my new life in the hostel, indeed its been something I have been looking forward too ... away from it all; mostly from that wicked grandmother of mine who has made my life a living nightmare for a good 5 months or so.
Limkokwing Uni itself is pretty kewl, it gives me the feeling of achievement. One look at the building from afar makes you feel in awe .. what more when you're in the campus itself.
My hostel/condo is 5km from the uni itself its called Desaria Villa Condo, I got the master room and converted it into single... knowing my habbit of not wanting to share bathrooms ... however due to some unforseen circumstances i have to for the time being share the bathroom coz my bathroom is being repaired for god knows what reason.
It's 11.45pm and I shall have to sleep soon ...my bus to uni leaves at 8.30 and i have to wake up mch earlier to have my shower....

Monday, June 5

Note!

Hence forth this blog will only be used for general stuff... personal rants involving feelings, breakup's , fuckup's will no longer be posted here.
The important people in my life will be notified with the new URL.






-jagdeep senghera-

practise what you preech...

hmmm ...
after much contemplation i decided to post my thoughts on issues that have been on my mind for a couple of days.
they say that first impressions make a lasting one. I dont know how much of a first impression i give a person in reality..
bt virtually people seem to think im everything they'd want in a girl.... but when they meet me in person, something else tends to take place.
now here is what i am wondering about . what do guys look for in a girl ? why do talk about witty and intelligent , when perhaps its the last thing on their mind. im confused :-s as hell....
why cant guys practise what they preech...
be honest and say whats on ure mind, rather then tryin to prove to be different when in reality ur only goona make ure self look horrible..
im yet to meet a guy who means what says and says what he means ... maybe H , he was the only person who saw me for me ... that's why we still share a bond that can never be broken... thou he's soon to be engaged... he will forever remain in my heart and soul .. for seeing me as me and loving me for the crazy stupid tihngs i did then ... i know he still loves me, we'll always love each other ... that's a given. Coz no other guy in the world would call me up at 4 am just to tell me he loves me and goes back to sleep.

Sunday, May 21

Random Thoughts

What if Shakespere were right?
That all of the World is the Stage, and the people are mere actors.Each playing its role while HE who the world addresses(sp?) as GOD is the director if the World's play.
Isn't it ironic how when one studies numerology and astrology they at one point or another explain the individuals that we are or certain traits through the date/time/ place of our birth and true the name we've been given at birth.
If these data's make up the answers we attain through astrology and numeorology , that would you agree that we were born to receive that name.
The traits that we accquire is based on the name we've been given?
It sound's mind boggling and perhaps does not make much sense to those who do not beleive in destiny.
I was sitting the other day and it suddenly occured to me ....
Do a little test on your own.
Log on to this http://aryabhatt.com and register for it, look at the different reading you can attain. It may no have to be 100% accurate or it need not have to apply directly to you. But you may be amazed at what you gather , just as what I gathred through mine.

an excerpt of my prediction:

This child was born in the first part of Punarvasu Constellation. Her birth sign is Gemini and her sign lord is Mercury. According to the Constellation, she belongs to Gana Deva, Marjar Yoni, Marjar Varga, Adya Nadi and Shoodra Varna. According to the part of the Constellation, her name should start with 'ke' as in Keshar Singh, Keval Kumar etc. She will be a very quiet and peaceful person. Her patient nature will prevent her from panicking in a troublesome situation. It will enable her to face them with courage and confidence. She will be very popular in society and will never lack wealth, prosperity or luxuries.

Busy bee me

First off, I must applogise for not having bloged for the past week. Recent events left me a little unable to do much.

On Monday, I got into an accident on my way back from Uni.

How it happened?
I was driving back to grandma's place ... and I usually avoid using the Seksyen 16 road back because of the horrible jam. Somehow on Monday I took to the Seksyen 16 road thinking that classes had ended earlier then usual and I could beat the Jam.
Driving through the curvy raod along Seksyen 16, a Gen 2 in front of me brake'd and I followed in suit, not keeping my distance from the Gen 2. When out of no where , a Proton Wira hit the back of my car.. When I finally realized what had happened, and got out of the car .. I realized that there were 5 other cars involved.
The guy who hit my car was applogetic enough, and he explained that he had braked in time , but it was the car behind him that knocked into his car.
All said and done, the car suffered quite abit of damage which is now in the workshop being repaired. Estimated cost RM1500. Thank god for insurance and 3rd party claim.
Me? I suffered a somewhat serious concussion, was in a daze for a couple of days while running aronud and getting things sorted out since dad had fractured his wrist. It was upto me to get things sorted out.


To top that off, I've got my finals coming up.
I've got two assignments to hand in on Monday and Wednesday plus Journalism exam on Wednesday morning.
I've managed to cope with all of it with the grace of Waheguru. It's amazing how I am still able to do everything while being under so much stress. I guess I have learnt over the time to juggle things, knowing that I am responsible for mom and dad.


I better get back to my politics paper! still have about 1200 words to go , so far Mrs Tan said I am on the right track , I just need to add in a few more theories from the reader. I guess that's about all the update for now...

Oh I think my cycst may have grown again , been having this giddy spells and sharp pulls on my right ovary. Cant' get it checked now coz of all the exams. Will get it checked before I go off to Cyberjaya!

Monday, May 15

Update

Ok post birthday entry.

Dad got into an accident, nothing major but still for his age it didnt seem really good. He fractured and dislocated his wrist bone. Good thing is he'll be able to get all the rest he needs, bad thing is he's being grumpy about everything *bleah*

With all of this, I managed to finish my media campaign *pats my self on the head* yeap yeap after weeks of slogging and no proper sleep , finally handed it in on Saturday. With that handed in, I've got my Media , Politics and Public Life 2nd assignment due and also Priniciples of Journalism's feature story. *bleah* Good thing? My last 2 assignments will be done by the 22nd of May *YIPPPIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* Bad thing? I'm goona miss KDU and everything about it ... I can hardly believe I'm almost done in KDU.


Wicked witch of the West, East,North and South a.k.a my grandmother is being a major major major pain (nothing new) hehehehe. I'm just waiting for the apartment to complete which should be done in about 3 months *counts finger May- August * yeap yeap correct 3 months ...

Menu has been sending me the wedding pictures... its really fantastic to see Melin all dressed up .. sad bit we werent there :( oh well ... at least she had the most important people in her life with her .. her family and grandmothers.

Saturday went out with Reena ... went to maam maam BURGER KING!! :D hehehe me had french chicken. Swear to GOD that is as close as I can ever get to heaven :D and I also had COKEEEEEEE oops I know nt supposed to but hehehehehehehehe I deserve a teeny weeny treat right ? *yeap yeap thought so too :P *

Okie dokie ... me off to class now ... getting my 2nd assignment back for Principles of Journalism. I am praying really really hard that I didnt fail the paper. Oh year Should be getting Media Audiences 1st assignment back as well... I am shit scared about how that turned out ... Beth may fail me :( I pray she doesnt thou. I put in a lot of hard work for that paper... in fact I've put in a lot of hard work for all my papers this semester. Should I fail any .. I'd be a wreck!!!!

Ta'!

Monday, May 8

I turned 25 ..

yes ... today I am 25 , so happy birthday to me! hehehe .. this year's birthday was different, no not in the bad sense different .. despite the arguments with mom last week, my birthday turned out to be more then what i had expected it to be. Considering the fact that i'd be busy today and dad gets back rather late from work, mom and dad had decided that they'd take me out for dinner yesterday rather then today. After 6 years i went to fatty crab! hehehe and i loved it !!! enjoying every bit of the hot and sour crabs :)) , chicken wings :))) , fried rice :) , anddddd COKE :)))))) !!!! HEHEHEHEHE . I also purchased a DVD which i intend to watch later on :P .
After dinner , while walking in tmn megah pasar malam i came accross this stall that sells car accesories and mom and dad knew i was going to stop there because i'd seen what i'd been looking for all along PATRICK CAR ACCESORRIES AT CHEAP PRICE :D :D . So I spent a lil bit of the 100 ringgit daddy gave me for my birthday :P , and got myself a pair of PATRICK seat belt covers with a slot to put phone in and also PATRICK cushion for the front seat :D :D :D !!! i wanted to get the whole set,but then mom said it wudnt look nice, so i didnt get the extra patrick stuff.

When i got online i'd received friendster testimonials and also messages from close friends :) at sharp 12 airin called from perth to wish me , i was trully touched .. never in a gazzilion years did i expect her to remember my birthday , we spoke for abit .. while talking to her Prema messaged me on MSN wishing me ... as soon as I'd put the phone down on Airin(airin i misss juuuuuuu) , Gupz called ! hahaha i never thot he'd remember .. well he did asking me wht i wanted .. i tld him to go figure it out wakakkaakaka .... the entire today ive been getting text msg's after text msg's ... REENA on the other hand made me smile the entire day hehehehehe coz i'd received about 4 cards plus countless online messages wishing me :D mwahsssssss reena i lub ju!!!!!!!!

Since i didnt want a birthday cake this year, dad brought back a small packet of barfi mch to my surprise ... so yes overall this year has brought me alot of joy .. because i wasnt expecting anything .. instead i got calls and messages from everyone dear and near .. including the wicked witch who pretended she'd remembered but forgot this morning how lame :P , bt i got 10 ringgit (nothing new ... 25 years down the line and i still get 10 ringgit :P , nanaji also gave me 10 ringgit :D :D :D :D :D )
So im rich! and Im happy coz ... meeeeeeeeeeeeeee got so many ppl who remember me burfday!!!! :D yippie dippie dooo!!

(from now on, i shall try to behave like a 25 year old instead of seven) ahem ^-^ *cough cough*



THE GROWN UP LADY SHALL SAY GOOD BYE NOW AND GO ENJOY HER KICAP CHICKEN WITH POTATO made by her mummy for her on her burfday!

Wednesday, May 3

Frustration.. A Letter to my MOTHER!

No matter how much I try to do things right, I seem to just fail almost as if I've own the title of being a failure.
What was so wrong if I had wanted to go out with reena, and I did not want her to get that stare from nani just like the stare that she gave aunty bansi yesterday?!?
Reena is the only person who has been a true friend to me; she's done nothing but be there for me in all my times of needs! even when you turned your back on me and said "I WANT MY HOUSE BACK, CAN YOU GET IT BACK FOR ME?" Ive done everything I can to prove that i have changed and that I no longer am the same person, yet everyday of my life you remind me that I HAVE TO BARE ALL THAT HAPPENS BECAUSE I PUT YOU HERE! HOW MANY TIMES IN A DAY DO I HAVE TO BE REMINDED THAT I TOOK URE HOUSE FROM YOU, YOU NEED NOT EMPHASISE ON THE OBVIOUS! I KNOW I TOOK YOUR HOUSE, I KNOW I AM A LEECH AT THE AGE OF 25 YOU DONT HAVE TO REMIND ME DAILY! YOU DONT HAVE TO ASK FOR A BREAKDOWN OF MY SPENDINGS AND REMIND ME THAT IM DEPENDANT! YOU DONT HAVE TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A FAILURE BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW I AM! I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS FACT ALL MY LIFE! DONT YOU THINK IT ALREADY TORTURES ME ENOUGH?!?? WHY DO YOU NEED TO TORTURE ME MORE ? I GET SYNICAL STARES FROM YOUR MOTHER EVERYDAY! I KNOW SHE HATES ME! SHE TORMENTS ME WITH HORRIBLE WORDS EVERYDAY! SHE REMINDS ME THAT THIS IS NOT MY HOUSE ! I KNOW THIS ISNT MY HOUSE ! I KNOW I HAVE NO HOME! I KNOW I HAVE NO ONE!!!! HOW COULD YOU HAVE TURNED AROUND AND MADE ME LOOK SELFISH FOR SAYING THAT SHOULD SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOU I WOULD HAVE NO ONE AND I WOULD BE ALONE AND I WOULD DIE WITH YOU... HW COULD YOU!!!! YOU TURNED MY LOVE INTO A SELF NEED OF MINE, YES I NEED YOU ! YOU'RE MY MOTHER FOR GOD DAMN SAKE! WHEN WILL YOU UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS?? WHEN WILL YOU ACCEPT ME FOR ME?? WHEN WILL YOU SEE IM NOT PERFECT BUT IM TRYING SO HARD TO BE !!!! MY BIRTHDAY IS NOT SPECIAL IT WILL NEVER BE! EVERY YEAR AS MY BIRTHDAY APPROACHES INSTEAD OF A CAKE I GET WORDS THAT HAUNT ME FORTHE REST OF THE YEAR, INSTEAD OF GIFTS I GET ABUSALS THAT LAST A LIFETIME IN MY MIND! I DO NOT FORGET THINGS EASILY, IT MAY APPEAR THAT I AM A HAPPY GO LUCK PERSON BUT I AM NOT! WHATEVER IS SAID TO ME REMAINS IN MY HEART FOREVER ! I TEND NOT TO REACT TO IT AFTRE 5 MINUTES BUT IT DOESNT MEAN IVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT ! EVERYDAY YOU REMIND ME A HARSH REALITY THAT IVE TAKEN YOUR HOUSE AWAY! I DONT NEED TO BE REMINDED ABOUT THAT! YOU ADD SALT TO MY UNHEALED WOUND EVERYDAY! I NEVER ONCE SAID I DID NOT WANT TO PICK PAPA UP! NEVER ONCE! I NEVER SAID THIS CAR WAS MINE EITHER! NOR HAVE I EVER GIVEN YOU A REASON TO TAKE A CAB FOR ANY OF UR APPOINMENTS! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT I FIND EXCUSES NOT TO TAKE YOU AND PAPA ANYWHERE ?!? YOU TOLD ME PETROL IS NOT WATER! SO U CANNOT AFFORD TO LET ME PICK PAPA UP FROM SHOP! I OFFERED TO PICK HIM UP FROM THE BUS STOP BUT U TOLD ME I WOUDNT KNOW WHERE HE GETS DOWN AND WHT TIME HE GETS DOWN! SO HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU HOLD ME RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!?!?!?! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME TO THIS EXTEND ?!? HOW DARE YOU MOTHER CALL ME A BARKING BITCH RIGHT ON MY FACE!!!! I HATE YOUR MOTHER AND SHOULD A DAY COME THAT SHE LIFTS HER HAND ON ME , DONT BE SURPRISED OF WHAT SHE MAY RECEIVE IN RETURN! IVE TOLERATED HER ABUSE AND SARASTIC REMARKS TOWARDS ME FOR 60 DAYS! 60 TORTURES DAYS!

Monday, May 1

A peek at my past , an Understanding of my Present.. with no clue of the Future.

In a week , the number 24 that has been asscoiated with me for the last 365 days will bid farewell; ushering in a new number to mark its presence allowing me to realize that I am now a year older. As the days past my subconscious mind will go back to a past; one that has haunted me since the tender age of 13.

Years have passed since then but the questions that have been imprinted in my heart and soul is yet to be answered. I understand that the beginning of my life will always remain a question mark, an unsolved puzzle... however should the chance ever be given; I would first like to thank her.. and then ask her the question that has kept me awake for most nights of my life "WHY".

Thank her for giving me away; thank her for allowing me to grow in an environment where I was the apple of two decent human's eye, thank her for giving them hope; a hope that I would at one point in my life repay them for their kind gesture of giving me a name; and not to be abandoned in an orphange without a name nor identity.

Then the question of WHY; Why hadnt she used protection? Why couldnt she have been more carefull? Why did she consume medication which consiquences I today bare.

I held no grudge nor anger againts her; I could never . She allowed me to grow in a family that needed me. They gave me love, holding me close to their heart, singing me to sleep while shoo'in my tears. They replaced the fear with laughter, they stayed up nights when I was down a fever. They cheered for my suceess and prayed I'd never fail. They gave me so much hope and took away all my pain.

For years I took advantage of all of the gifts; not realizing for even abit the sacrifises that's been made. I realized perhaps a little too late; when there was nothing I could do to safe.A home that had once been theirs was sacrifised to see me pass, to them I owe my entire life. Unsure of what is to be. I pray the courage in me, continues till one day I be; the dreams in which they've seen me grow, to be sucessfull on my own.

Seven days away from the day I was conceived; I have people to thank who I may never see. All of you played an important role for which I will be forever greatfull for. Allowing me to live and fullfill their dreams. I no longer hold a grudge againts anyone, even you who I've cursed all my life. Today I understand that this was my destiny; you were just a medium through which I came to be. I know that somewhere in this Universe, you must think of me; thou you have your own family.

Life has been good to plain old me; for I have in many ways transformed into the new me. Series of events that have taken place over the years; allowed me to let go of my past. A future of which I am not certain of, I leave it to HIM for; HE knows it all.

Tuesday, April 25

New Look

The old template thou simple and nice , was starting to look a lil too dull for me, sooo since im not that blog savvy yet; I found a website that had this pretty kewl template (there is a link on the sidebar that leads to the person who created it) and yea well ... its a fresh new look... sorta like the fresh new me .. well maybe not "fresh" me .. but new me thats a gurantee ;) ..
Ok back to my assignments now ... or I may just have another sleepless night

Strange but true...

Judging from my last entry dated sometime around the first week of april, I would have thought that I'd still be upset about the news that i'd discovered , but i am rather surprised that it no longer effects nor bothers me; but that's not to say if i were to come across this certain person i'd make any kind of casual chat, nope! I may not care about it now but nevertheless it was still a lie! a big huge fat one just like him (pardon the sacarsm) I wonder what ever happened to talks about "the only regret i'll ever have is that i never held you in my arms" at that point I was in cloud 9 today I realized it was nothing but a bunch of lies! I wonder what happened to marriage of convinence! hmmmm ... perhaps that is why he never quite gathered the guts to tell me about his engagement, that also pretty much explains the sudden coldness between us;then i was puzzled thinking if i had said or done something wrong(knowing me i never know when to shut up!) but in actual fact, seems like he was the one who'd done something wrong. No being in love isnt wrong but telling 1 girl ur only wish is if u could change back time, but its now to late because you will soon leave for UK, and getting engaged to a girl who is not from England really shows me what kind of a person he really is! IF only i had seen this sooner, I would not have wasted a good 1.5 years of my life waiting and hoping for something to be, while he was probably having fun with every other girl . oh well its his loss ! and hopefully i am someone elses' gain lol.

on the side, life has been pretty hectic with assignment due dates practically hanging like a sword above my head, the semester is almost coming to an end, and in 14 days ill turn 25! bleah talk about being old!!! all in all im looking forward to the days that come eventhou i know its not going to be easy! and yea sorry for the lack of updates jst been to busy with assignments! *sighhh such is a life of a student

Friday, April 7

it all ends ...

for a moment , i was stunned ... i was taken aback ... i coudnt quite believe what i was reading, but it was true ... it was happening and that is when it started setting in slowly but painfully ... it had finally ended, any hope what so ever of being one, and spending my life with the one person that meant the world to me had finaly ended. He was finally settling down, his engagement had already been set on the 9th of September 2006, and the marriage should take place sometime in March next year. How do i feel right now? numb all over ... Will I be able to move on ? I have in many ways ...thou often my mind does travel back in time... Does it all effect me ? Yes , it does ...how could it not?

Wednesday, March 29

what do i make out of this ...

its 1.21 am, and im resting in bed while typing this entry ... alot of things are going thru my mind at this point of time, which is why i decided to jst let it all out here... after all they do say tht writing is a good form of therapy in this case its typing :P
a short while ago , i received a call from N, in the recent weeks we have gotten pretty close to each other, we arent dating, we arent seeing each other , we have not even met for that matter! yet there is this feeling of comfort zone when i talk to him , expressing myself to a person of the opposite sex has never been easier! no doubt i do feel that there is some sort of chemistry however it could be one-sided and perhaps it would be best to just push those "chemistry" kind of feelings aside for now.. in the recent weeks we have talked about relationships in general of course and we both have agreed that if its meant to be then nothing and no one can stop it, however if it is not then we'd still be there for each other as friends..
N seems to be a person who is compassionate , perhaps a lil reserved, someone who enjoys spending time at home , playing with his doggies and i sorta admire these things in a man ... perhaps it because i seek these things in the man i see myself spending an eternity with, these were the same things that made me love V the way i did , but all of this is yet to be seen .... for now N is a good friend, a fantastic person with a fantastic personality who has no qualms about making me feel special, he reminds me a lil of H, at least he sounds that way .. and only H would call me up at wee hours in the morning just to say good night ...

to N i dedicate this few lines of lyrics :

Aap Joh Paas Aaye Meree
Aap Seh Joh Hui Doosti
Khaawab Jaagne Laaga
Dil Koh Legne Legaa
Duniya Mein Na Koi Aap Sa

Tuesday, March 28

its been a month...

since i began my final semester at KDU, as June approaches i realize that my journey with KDU is coming to an end, an institution i had dreamed of going to ever since i was a kid, i used to tell everyone in my family i am going to KDU to study when i grow up ... and lil did i know that KDU would show me the way to my dreams... thou i will not be flying off to Murdoch like the rest of my friends , rest assured KDU has given me everything i have ever dreamt off ... it made me a person i am today, i learnt how to be responsible ... i learnt how to be independant ... however all of this could not have happened if it werent for lecturers like Sham, Mabel and Mrs Tan ... with Rekha who never gave up hope on me ,and Ms Ong who was be the best dean any student and department could have asked for , in her i saw a vision of a mother who wanted to ensure all her children did well in thier respective majors ....

THANK YOU KDU FOR GIVING ME THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE ... TO YOU I OWE MY ENTIRE LIFE .... THANK YOU SHAM, MABEL AND MRS TAN ... IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I CAN NOW STAND TALL AND TELL MYSELF I FINISHED MY TERM WITH KDU , AND WITH YOUR BLESSINGS ILL BE ABLE TO GRADUATE SOON....THANK YOU MS REKHA FOR HAVING THAT FAITH IN ME THOU I KNOW I HAVE DISSAPOINTED YOU MANY-A-TIMES ... MS ONG YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE BEST DEAN ANY FACULTY COULD HAVE AND I MISS YOU LOADS , I THINK WE ALL DO!

Thursday, March 16

two weeks ...

it's been about 14 days now since i've moved into pj, how am i handling all of it? truth of the matter is , whatever the situation im dealing with i cant blame anyone but myself based on reason known frm my previous post, if it weren't for me dad mom and me would never have had to endure all of what is happening , but i guess it's a lil too late to cry over spilt milk, with the hope that with time everything will fall into place.. the rules here are a lil diff as opposed to what they were at home , grandma sleeps by 11 so she wants us to be in bed by 11 ... and she's up by 7 which means like it or not ive got to be up by then unless of course mom gives me the green light to sleep in , however that doesnt really happen either because i dont feel comfortable sleeping in .... life as they say is abt adapting to changes, and i suppose this is a change that i shall have to get used to, but it'll only be for sometime.. hopefully by the end of this year, i'll move into what would be my new home , where things will never change, where dad mom and me will have our privacy and space yet be ther for each other ..now and forever

Monday, March 13

Its about time some papers get their facts right!!!!

While walking in mid valley i stumbled upon a shop (looking to buy a drink) i saw a malay newspaper (Harian Metro) with a BOMBASTIC front page HEADLINE "KIAMAT 2019" Anyone curious enough would deff buy the paper since the issue was on a story that would generaly interest the entire population of earth! Being me I just had to read the article , so i logged on to their website and found this : Taken from their website on March 12 2006

"Kiamat 2019
Oleh ZAINUDDIN ZAIN dan ASMIZAN MOHD SAMIRANKUALA LUMPUR: Dunia akan kiamat pada 1 Februari 2019 akibat bumi dilanggar asteroid dikenali sebagai 2002 NT7! Ini adalah dakyah terbaru yang kini disebarkan secara meluas menerusi e-mel di internet.Lebih mendukacitakan, e-mel itu mengajak manusia di seluruh dunia untuk bergembira dan melakukan perkara untuk kepuasan diri mereka sehingga tarikh berkenaan.Pihak yang menyebarkan e-mel berkenaan mendakwa, kejadian yang bakal memusnah dan melenyapkan bumi daripada sistem cakerawala itu disahkan Pentadbiran Aeronautik dan Angkasa Negara (Nasa) di Amerika Syarikat (AS).Pakar astronomi negara ini mengakui kewujudan asteroid 2002 NT7, namun meminta orang ramai tidak terlalu bimbang sehingga mengganggu kehidupan seharian kerana banyak perkara mengenainya masih dipantau dan belum dipastikan.Pakar agama pula meminta umat Islam tidak terlalu mempercayai kiamat akan berlaku pada tarikh itu kerana dibimbangi akan menjejaskan akidah kerana kiamat adalah ketentuan Allah yang tidak diketahui manusia, termasuk Nabi Muhammad SAW.Pensyarah jurusan Fizik Angkasa Universiti Malaya (UM), Prof Dr Mohd Zambri Zainuddin, berkata walaupun asteroid 2002 NT7 dikesan saintis pada 9 Julai 2002, namun masih terlalu awal untuk mengesahkan ia pasti melanggar bumi pada 2019.“Tidak dinafikan mengikut jangkaan ia (2002 NT7) akan melanggar bumi pada 1 Februari 2019, tetapi ketika ini pakar astronomi di seluruh dunia, termasuk dari Nasa dan di Jepun, masih memantau perkembangan asteroid berkenaan.“Masih banyak perkara kita tidak tahu mengenai asteroid itu, termasuk saiz dan orbitnya. Malah, pada masa ini Nasa meletakkan 2002 NT7 sebagai ‘low impact risk’ (risiko perlanggaran rendah).“Hanya antara satu hingga dua tahun sebelum tarikh jangkaan ia akan melanggar bumi, baru kita akan mendapat maklumat lengkap mengenai asteroid itu dan kesan sebenarnya terhadap bumi,” katanya.Dr Mohd Zambri yang juga Timbalan Dekan Fakulti Sains UM berkata, pada masa itu juga, banyak perkara boleh dilakukan terhadap asteroid itu, termasuk menembaknya menggunakan roket atau peluru berpandu supaya hanya serpihannya menimpa bumi.“Kita tidak dapat menolak keluar asteroid ini daripada orbitnya. Kalau ia hendak melanggar bumi, kita tidak akan dapat menyekatnya, tetapi yang dapat kita lakukan ialah meminimumkan kesan perlanggaran.“Bagaimanapun, kita tidak perlu bimbang kerana berdasarkan sejarah, banyak asteroid dan komet yang dikesan sebelum ini tidak sempat sampai ke bumi akibat merempuh objek lain di angkasa atau terkeluar daripada orbit,” katanya.Beliau berkata, Nasa mengesan lebih 1,000 asteroid dan komet yang terkeluar daripada kawasan sepatutnya, iaitu antara planet Marikh dan Musytari serta berhampiran planet Pluto, sekali gus mewujudkan kemungkinan berlanggar dengan bumi.“Namun, kes terburuk adalah asteroid yang jatuh di kawasan gurun di wilayah Tuguska, Siberia pada 1908 yang meratakan kawasan, termasuk memusnahkan tumbuh-tumbuhan di kawasan kira-kira 25 batu persegi,” katanya.Bagaimanapun, Dr Mohd Zambri tidak menafikan asteroid sebesar satu kilometer cukup untuk memusnahkan bumi berdasarkan impak daripada perlanggaran pada kelajuan tinggi.“Berbanding komet berais, asteroid pula berbatu, sekali gus mampu memberi kesan besar terhadap bumi jika berlaku perlanggaran kerana mampu menolak bumi keluar daripada orbitnya.“Apabila bumi terkeluar daripada orbitnya, ia akan ditarik ke arah matahari dan ini cukup berbahaya.Yang pasti, saintis dunia juga sentiasa mengambil langkah berjaga-jaga bagi memastikan sebarang maklumat awal mengenai segala kemungkinan yang berlaku di sistem cakerawala diperoleh,” katanya.Mengenai e-mel kononnya kiamat akan berlaku pada 1 Februari 2019 akibat 2002 NT7 melanggar bumi, Dr Mohd Zambri berkata, ia mungkin disebarkan pihak amatur dan bukan pakar astronomi.“Mereka beranggapan penyebarkan e-mel itu akan menyedarkan penduduk dunia mengenai apa akan berlaku, tetapi sebenarnya mereka hanya mencipta keadaan tidak tenteram berdasarkan fakta salah.“Pada masa ini tiada siapa dapat meramalkan kesan sebenar ditimbulkan 2002 NT7 kepada bumi,” katanya sambil menambah, e-mel itu juga mungkin disebarkan oleh pihak yang ada kepentingan tertentu.E-mel bertajuk ‘Start Enjoying Yourself’ itu mempunyai dua gambar, termasuk satu maklumat grafik yang kononnya menunjukkan kedudukan 2002 NT7 sekarang, selain satu gambar dipercayai menggunakan teknik pertindihan menunjukkan bumi dilanggar asteroid.Antara kata-kata dicatatkan di dalam e-mel itu ialah: “So, enjoy every moment of your life to the fullest extent...till Feb 1, 2019.” (Justeru, bergembiralah setiap saat di dalam hidup anda secara maksimum sehingga 1 Februari 2019).Ini kali kedua e-mel disebarkan secara meluas di negara ini mengenai kiamat. Tahun lalu, rakyat negara ini gempar dengan dakwaan kononnya kiamat akan berlaku ketika gerhana berpasangan Oktober lalu.Dr Mohd Zambri yang juga pakar astronomi berkata, dakyah yang disebarkan tahun lalu itu terbukti pembohongan dan hanya menjadi bahan ketawa mereka yang pakar di bidang berkaitan sistem cakerawala dan solar.“Gerhana berpasangan bukan luar biasa. Namun, ada pihak menjadikannya bahan untuk mewujudkan kebimbangan masyarakat dan lebih malang, mereka mengaitkannya dengan kiamat,” katanya.Sebelum ini, Mufti Perak, Datuk Seri Harussani Zakaria, ketika mengulas e-mel kiamat menjelang gerhana berpasangan itu berkata:“Hari kiamat perkara ghaib yang sebenarnya di bawah ilmu Allah. Sesiapa pun tidak tahu sedangkan nabi pun tidak tahu bila hari kiamat.“Banyak ramalan sedemikian dibuat dari semasa ke semasa dan dilakukan sejak zaman nabi, tetapi tidak pernah terjadi. Nabi pernah menyatakan tukang nujum itu bohong, walaupun ada kejadian yang betul tetapi ia hanya kebetulan,” katanya.Beliau berkata, penyebaran e-mel itu adalah perbuatan pihak ekstrem atau berniat memesongkan akidah umat Islam."



After reading the site, i decided to log on to NASA's website to see what the "real" story was perhaps NASA had a better explanation and this is what I had gathered .... http://neo.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news133.html"



Which goes to show that, the journalist and editors for Harian Metro did not check on the accuracy of the news , which could have been done by a simple check on NASA's website... now if everyone out there would have done what i did , and reported it back to harian metro , it would be a good reminder to those guys there to go back to their routes of journalism :D

Tuesday, February 28

Events ...

Yes yes I admit , I haven't been blogging much .... well here is a summary of what's been taking place in my life in the recent weeks ....


1. Roopy made it to KL in one piece :D thou delayed (nothing un-usual) and extended her stay (again nothing un-usual) we had loads of fun... missing her loads even as i type this entry out

2. Classes resumed two of my lecturers are okie , however there is 1 lecturer that seems to be getting on my nerves and if nothing is done, im afraid ill get a heart attack soon

3. I saw someone I wished I hadnt' seen while roopy was in KL .... yes she tried reasoning things out to me and so did reena however, fact still remained that it hurt .... still does probably always will

4. Today is my last day in BSD sigh, 11 years worth of wonderful memories ... memories i will forever treasure ....

Tuesday, February 14

Rang De Basanti

A movie that has captured the heart soul and mind of millions of indians around the world from the UK's to Malaysia ...not because of the brilliant actors that seemed to have slipped into the roles they played, but because the movie deals with what an indian would go through in india, and the irony is this happens to citizens in every country.. how their voices have been surpressed by the goverment and how we have all learnt with time to adjust to these situations, its a story of 5 friends and how they wanted to make a difference in the world, its a modern version of the many Bhagat Singh movies we've seen over the last couple of years....

Bhagat Singh, a known hero in the eyes of many indians accross the world , for it was he who had the strength to fight the English then, it was he who gave thousands of others the vision of seeing an independant India , he wasnt the only one who had that vision of an independant India along with him were Chandrashekar Azad , Rajguru, Sukhdev, Ram Prasad Bismil and countless others ... together these were the real hero's in the 1920's ...

Rang De Basanti made me realize alot of things today, and that is in the true words of the scriptwriter "no country is perfect, but it is us citizens who have to perfect it with time, if there is corruption we fight i;t not with war , not with blood , but with honesty ... join the police if you must, be a politician to get your views across if you must, but dont blaime your country for who you are today, because the first step towards a better country starts with you" we often blaime everyone except ourselves for the things that take place on a daily basis... although i do agree that it would be impossible to get our voices accross but truly the first step towards a better country or world takes a single step which Bhagat Singh, Chandrashekar Azad, Udham Singh, Sukhdev, Ram Prasad Bismil and Rajguru took years before India or even Malaysia had dreamt of Independence ......

Thursday, February 9

Of parting with friends

Early last year until perhaps sometime around october , I was convinced that tomorrow I would fly to Perth, Australia to finish up the remaining 3 semesters of my bachelors program. Initially when it had first started out, I was excited about the prospect of flying with Airin and Prema my two classmates who I've shared so much with during my last semester. As time passed, as much as there was excitement there was also fear, mostly of not doing well and adapting to new surroundings but I guess what scared me the most was taking up a huge amount of my parents life saving for my bachelors. I remained brave until the day we had the first pre-depature briefing, when I learnt that a good amount of money had to be paid in advance if I wanted to secure a seat in Murdoch, my parents were perhaps a little hesitant with my decision then to go to Murdoch especially since it was a semester earlier then I had actually planned... but nevertheless they gave me the support that I needed... but somehow I couldn't see myself taking such a big step, especially when I wasnt sure how well I would do in my then current semester, and paying a huge amount in advance and not being sure of the results was taking a huge risk, and I did not want to take that risk not knowing what was ahead of me. Then there were talks of a 3+0 murdoch program which a lot of the students had opted for, so after looking through the pro's and con's I decided to jump in the bandwagon and wait for the 3+0 program, it was still a risk nevertheless because there weren't any confirmations on when the program would begin but it would allow me to save some amount of money and perhaps be a little more independant...

Tomorrow 10th Febuary 2006, my two friends along with the rest of my classmates will be leaving the country to persue the final year in Murdoch University in their respective majors... I had met them briefly yesterday, to say our goodbyes and catch up on a few things before they bid farewell to Malaysia... I couldn't stop my tears .. yet I wasn't sure why I was crying to even begin with ... was it because I was being left behind? was it because I would miss them and the times we'd spent together , was it because things were not going to be the same again for me in class? It could be one or it could be all of those reasons above, yet it was a decision I had made for my life... mom want's me to transfer in July saying that I should expirence life and learn alot more then just being a good daughter or at the very least trying to be a good daughter at home.... however the decision is yet to be made... for now Room 308 will not be the same again, there will not be front row gossips with the laptop chicks (Airin and Me and then Prema joined in the laptop chicks group) , no more Tuesday and Thursday long break movies in 1Utmama , no more Group presentations with Airin which somehow we made an excellent team I think .... whatever said and done ... Airin and Prema were the 2 classmates that made me realize what friendship is truly about, being there for each other .... and accpeting me for the person that I was ... or rather became with their help ...

Saturday, February 4

feelings ......

when i ended things with him on december 30th 2005, i never thought it'd be so hard for me, there were times during that period when i had prayed that he would text me, or call me asking me to nt walk away the way i did..but as weeks passed i realized that he probably wanted me to leave, just like how everyone else has. i received a text from him on the 29th of jan asking me why i hadnt' kept in touch with him or if everything was okie for me. thou hurt and crushed with memories of the past, i choose to remain calm and told myself that "dimpy, be strong why cry later? when he' only going to leave at the end?, its best that you cry now and be strong later" with that i made myself all stronger and even sent him a rude text, hoping the msg would get across.

yesterday, as i was having lunch with mom in pj i turned around to take a look at this pool table with a score board next to it, and for a moment time stood still. there was a name scribbled on the board with his name on it, perhaps it wasnt his name, perhaps it was someone else who was also adressed by that name, all thoughts came bk to me... and i broke down in tears in the car...... and that is when mom looked at me and she understood the pain i was going through..... there are times when i wished i had never met him, there are times when i wish i would have igonred him just like i have igonred others in the virtual world.. there are times when i wish i had never believed a word he had said.......... was this supposed to be some lesson of life that i was to learn? what did he teach me? that love hurts ? that love is just a game to be played? and that marriage is of convinence ?

why couldn't he for a moment see how i felt? why couldnt he understand the pain ive been through ... why didnt he realize that no matter how far in life i go, no matter what happens to me or where i end up in life, he would probably be the only one my heart yearns for? it hurts and it hurts real bad, they say time is the biggest healer........ but how am i to heal when i know that every step i take somewhere something will remind me of him, and there is this fright in me that we'll bump into each other now that i spend most of my time in PJ. I wish i had answeres , i wish i had the solution .... but above and beyond all i wish he was mine, thou dreams never come true....... especially not mine

Wednesday, January 18

Headaches are horrible...

yes that's right they are .... been suffering from headaches the last couple of days not only does it hurt my head feels really heavy and im been taking 1 to many 250mg ponstans with hot cups of tea!! and the darm thing isnt going anywhere!!! bleah! I know i shoudnt be in front of the pc while having this nagging pain but then i cant quite sleep .... the weather is just getting to me its horribly HOT!!!! bleah... okie enuff of rants im off to take another cold shower and just close my eyes for abit ..

Its time ..

that I start standing up for what I feel and not being stepped over by everyone especially not a kid who doesnt understand the facts of life and wants to have it her way or no way at all...
yesterday she pulled the last straw when she started lashing her anger out at me for no apprarent reason, while i know that she may be facing some sort of problems at home or with her personal life, but taking it out on someone else who was trying to be friendly doesnt quite fit the bill... mom has told me time and again to just stop talking to her, since she's done this to met several times but all along i felt that maybe she'll jst change with time , but i finally realized a dogs tail can never be straight... with that i decided that enough is enough and im not going to take her non-sense no more!!


on a side note i present to you my boo!! :D

Tuesday, January 3

3 days....

into 2006, and Im feeling better then before hehe perhaps its just that motivational pep talk i keep giving myself, but whatever said and done ... I FEEL FANTASTIC!! , been working out alot (heh! its about time ler.... after no boy want me abit teh susah then) been practising on my driving alot (yes yes im getting better each day) but above all I'm feeling free, free from any sort of feeling that would tie me down; dont get me wrong , i love being in a relationship and all but at the same time i want to be in a relationship with the right person for the right reasons, until and unless that person does not come my way i aint goona budge!!! got another session at the gym tomoro hopefully i'll be able to make it! in fact i want to be able to make it !! time to get in shape and turn some heads :D